Are you a pushover? (a person who is easily persuaded or influenced)

Read this from the following website and I just want to share it with you readers (especially if you are the one who doesn't quite know how to say "no".)

Question : Though my friends and colleagues often praise me for my generosity, my inability to say “no” to people has become a serious issue in my life. Oftentimes, I find myself feeling overextended and mentally exhausted from always saying yes to every request for advice, assistance, etc., that comes my way. In fact, sometimes I think that I don’t even know when it’s OK to say no to someone’s request. Are there any good ways to say no to someone without feeling guilty afterwards and coming across as selfish?

“To think is to say no.” –Emile-Auguste Chartier

The inability to say no translates into the inability to not stick up for yourself and your best interests. However, you are not alone if you struggle with this problem. Millions of people find that when it comes to honoring every single request asked of us by family, friends, bosses and even strangers, they cannot recall that the word “no” is a part of their vocabulary. What the problem really comes down to is a lack of assertiveness and the desire to please everyone we come in contact with. Saying no tends to get easier as we get older because after so many years of overextending ourselves, we finally realize the importance of pleasing ourselves and catering to what’s most important in our lives.

There are a few reasons why you may have a difficult time saying no. You don’t want to be seen as lazy, you don’t want someone to feel rejected, you want to avoid any feelings of guilt, and your desire to be the caretaker overrides practicality. You may even be clueless about proper ways to say no.

While constantly saying yes to someone benefits them, it will probably do the opposite for you. For example, when you say yes to something you don’t want to do (especially if it’s for the same person over and over), there’s a good chance that you’ll start to build resentment and anger toward them. You won’t feel too good about yourself either, which is counterproductive for building the self-esteem needed to be confident in your ability to say no. You may also become stressed out because you’re on overload, and even your immune system can suffer as a result. Ignoring other relationships and commitments to fulfill someone else’s needs, rather than your own, means many aspects of your life suffer.

The key to saying no is to do so with assertiveness and with tact. What do we mean by this? Here are some suggestions on ways to say no to someone without hurting their feelings.

With Friends
How do you say no to a friend when what defines a friendship is always being there for each other in times of need? These friendship expectations make it especially difficult to dig out the old “no.” However, there are still a few positive ways you can approach these situations. First, try the stalling technique, which helps counteract the tendency to say yes right away without giving it complete thought. When asked for something, tell your friend you’ll get back to them once you check your schedule or check in with your family commitments. You can decide later whether you want to say yes, or whether it’s in your best interest to say no. This pause also helps friends realize that you do have a life outside of your friendship. Saying no and giving a short explanation as to why you can’t do it is also effective. But don’t explain for longer than two sentences because it will not come across as genuine and will sound like a guilt-ridden excuse.

At Work
Your boss and your coworkers can often be demanding, and even though your job is responsible for your paycheck, it doesn’t mean you don’t have the right to just say no (politely of course). Bosses seem to find the worst time to ask you to stay three hours late or taking on a new project on top of your overwhelming workload. Instead of just saying no to your boss, take the proactive, solution-oriented approach that involves a “yes.” For example, tell your boss that you can’t stay late but would be happy to come in early or work through lunch the next day. If you can’t take on another project, offer your boss another solution, like sharing the workload with a coworker who is more available and just as apt to do a great job.

Are there any benefits to saying no besides saving your sanity? Yes! When you stick up for yourself, you’re setting a great example for your family and friends. Showing assertiveness while still showing you care is especially a great example to set for your children, and your other family and friends will admire you as well. You’ll also be able to devote more time, energy and effort to the commitments that you already have.

Saying “yes” to the people in your life can be a wonderful, non self-serving act of kindness and love. But learning to say no also often serves your better interests and other commitments. You have every right to say no in a situation where you or your family’s important needs are compromised for the sake of someone else’s less important needs. So exercise that “no” muscle. The more you do it, the easier it becomes, and the more you’ll see that other people’s responses aren’t as dramatic as you anticipate.

Being a pushover may make you more likeable, but it doesn’t make you more respectable.